OLD AGE HOME:MISSING THEIR BELOVED CHILDREN-WHO ARE RESPONSIBLE?
Bhopal:MMNN: JULY. 31, 2017
I happened to visit an old age home in my city, for attending the birthday celebration of my friends son. Though the celebrations went well and we thoroughly enjoyed the company of all the oldies here, but I felt something missing, leaving some unanswered questions in my mind, which I thought of penning down.
A smile on their wrinkled faces and their lively charisma could hardly conceal the eternal pain in their last stages of life, despite the availability of materialistic comforts. They were still missing the company of their beloved children and loved ones, whom they loved from the bottom of their hearts and sacrificed a lot for their happiness.
Some resided in the Apna Ghar, a home for the elderly by choice, while some were abandoned by their children, giving them no choice but to choose an old age home. Some came here out of despair while for some; circumstances played a vital role in bringing them here.
It is rightly said that Parents are the bones on which Children cut their teeth. A lot has been talked about how tough parenting is and how much it demands, still the parent always selflessly contribute for their children. Parents consider them as their own piece of heart, and care so much for them, love them, caress them, cater to their needs and ensure their transformation to as a better human being and in this long process they eventually become old.
Our life as a human being is marked by successive changes beginning from gestation and culminating into the death bed travelling through a life cycle phases like infancy, childhood, adolescence, adulthood and senescence. In this stage we gradually begin losing our vital mental physical capacities, which is the onset of ageing with time.
Unlike earlier generations, when joint family culture was a mandate of the society, it has now become the relics of the past. Now, old and elderly are considered as a liability, which is possibly one of the biggest disadvantages of so called progressive modern society. Many questions strike our mind when we think upon it as a human being, Have we really become so mean and selfish Have we become so busy and self centered that we cannot invest even small portion of our time, love and money for those who had given their entire life, affection and money for us. Are we not abandoning our own creators
During the visit, I took this opportunity to dig in to the lives of a few people there, and I was in a way happy that they chose to reside in the old age homes, rather than being subjected to the torture given by their own children.
When fate takes a call:
In the case of Blossom Singh Verma, fate played an important role. Her life turned topsy turvy after her husband was cheated in business and suffered huge loss.
Marriage was never in my mind. I always wished to serve my parents who were ailing and wanted to be with them. Then my husband came with a proposal that even my parents can stay along with us so on the insistence of my family, I agreed to get married to him. I have a son and a daughter. Everything was running fine, we were well off and my husband had his business. Unfortunately, after we moved to Bhopal, my husband suffered a major loss in business. In that depression he just left us. I then suffered a paralytic stroke and my daughter became the leading lady of our house. She used to take care of her job and look after me and also bear the expenses of her younger brother, Blossom said.
Then, she got an opportunity to work in Pune, which she was planning to resist because of my illness. My son is still pursuing his studies and I did not want to burden him more. So we decided that I move into an old-age home so that my children can first achieve their heights and then we will move in again together, she added.
Losing their loved ones:
A poet, a violinist and a lawyer a member of the family who didnt wish to be named, hailed from a wealthy peasants family from Hoshangabad. He completed his studies from Itarsi and came to Bhopal to practice law. Talking about his story he says, I am a man of my words. I went to Nagpur University to do law and also learnt short hand typing. My love for music, bought me to All India Radio where I worked for several years. I have four children, two sons and two daughters. After I left my job, post an argument with the IAS in charge, I practised criminal law, he said.
All was good till my sons got married. Both my daughter-in-laws started demanding my property being transferred in the names of my sons. However, I opined that it be evenly distributed among all my children including my daughters. A few years after this argument began, my wife fell ill and eventually passed away three years ago. On the very same day when we concluded her last rites, I was utterly shocked when my sons came and asked me to be live my own life separately. But I had no other option.
This is how, I came here. I loved my wife, more than I loved myself. With my sons leaving me, and my wife leaving abode, I feel as though, my life had no meaning and I began questioning my existence. I was so appalled that I immersed all my trophies, medals and certificates in the holy Narmada river along with the ashes of my wife and here I am waiting for death.
These experiences have shaken me deeply and has questioned : Does humanity still exists or it is slowly dying its death & a day will come when there will be no room for elders? There is a serious need for the society to have a relook into this issue from humanity perspective and it is the moral duty of everyone make the elders feel good in the last stages of their life, when they need us the most.
ABOUT THE WRITER:DR.SMITA GUPTA
Dr. Smita Gupta is MBA ,Phd (Management)Dr .Gupta served an Director at management Institute.Her interests include working for child Sexual Abuse,Bachpan Bachao Andolan.She is also active member of the Think-Tank Forward india Forum.
Metro Mirror - Forward India Forum and Deeshanjali celebrated Valentine's Day at ApnaGhar
Bhopal:MMNN: Feb. 15, 2017
Metro Mirror, Forward India Forum & Deeshanjali members celebrated Valentine's Day at the ApnaGhar oldage Home. On this occassion the inmates cut the cake and Biscuit packets were distributed.
Mrs. Madhuri Mishra who founded and managing the ApnaGhar introduced the inmates and some of the inmates recited poems and done Acting to propose the elder Woman. The inmates include the Judge and a doctor abandoned by their family.
Mrs. Mishra told to MetroMirror, "we enjoy the company of elderly people and live as a big family. My husband, daughter and Bahu all help me to manage the ApnaGhar".
Dr. Anoop Swarup and Mr. Shiv Harsh Suhalka presented a shawl to Mrs. Mishra as a token of respect to her efforts to keep the inmates hapy and healthy.
On this occasion Deeshanjali founder Mr. Vijay Patidar, Mr. Vikas Saxena and the Volunteers were present.